Part Two ( scroll down to part one first )

During the summer I was single, I was free of swimming and school, I was having fun. You could say that I abused my rights of having fun and started going down a bad path. A lot of other shit happened last year with relationships that just added to the shitty-ness. My friend Carling never told me that what I was doing was okay because she knew there were healthier ways of dealing with what I was going through. Although to this day I know no one can understand exactly how it all felt, I still am beyond thankful to have a friend like her to pull me through and keep me line.
I began thinking about going back in September to swimming, did I really want to? I could be good at other things but never know because swimming will consume my life. What if I get another injury, or have another shitty year? it will all be a waste. I told my coach this, he then told me to take a break from swimming. He was the one person I knew would understand how going back after the last year would be difficult.
If I go could go back and be awesome, and a great happy person and be great at life, I would.
Unforunteately that is not how life works. I took the time I needed to explore different options, find out what I like doing,finding out about myself and exploring the potential of what I could become. I started hanging out with positive people, who made me feel good inside. I started dating someone who couldn't have a better influence on my life, and I couldn't be happier.
I found out I like to paint, and I love bunnies. Im a bad driver and can't cook. I sleep in really late, and I like coffee. I realized that once I start something, I need to finish it, and that I like meeting new people. And after 6 months, I realized I loved swimming. I went back 4 days ago. I haven't felt that feeling in a long time. The feeling of weightlessness, like you have electricity running through your veins jump starting your body to ignite and go, and not stop until your heart explodes. I realized how that is a feeling only I can feel.
I am blessed to have people ( you know who you are) in my life. I could not have come this far without any of you. I love every single one of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Looking back, I am grateful for everything that happened to me. It wouldn't have gotten me here today, I am now more excited than ever to begin my long course season. I want to be in the water everyday, and my heart races just thinking about the the first time I will step on the blocks this year.
What happened? I don't know. But for some reason it did, just like everything else, and that's just how I live my life; everything happens for a reason.